University Decides that All Dropouts will Receive a "Participation Trophy"
Dropping out of college is a tough decision, made even tougher by the fact that you don’t get the cool-looking diploma that comes with graduating. To ease dropouts’ tough transition into the real world, the University decided that all dropouts will receive a “participation trophy” to let them know that all that matters was they tried their best and had fun.
This participation trophy does not come with any relief for debt accumulated while pursuing—but ultimately failing—to obtain a degree. Instead, it comes with an inscription that says “University participant.” If the dropout was enrolled in the Grainger College of Engineering, the inscription instead reads “Just Like Mark Zuckerberg.”
“Everyone out here put up a good effort. Good hustle guys. You’ll get ‘em next time,” said the administrator as he handed out the trophies to the dropouts. “Keep your heads up high and your trophies in hand.”