University of Alabama Responds to Barn Dance Controversy by Holding Urban Dances
Troubling news arrives from the University of Alabama today due to exaggerated reports of cultural insensitivity at UIUC barn dances. So-called “Rooster Reports” depicted barn dances as events where students “speak in country accents, arrive in trailers and horses, and sniff gasoline to lower their literacy rates to the rural average.”
The Rooster Reports enraged students at the University of Alabama, who retorted by holding Urban(a) Dances, where they rob other students at knifepoint, play hip-hop music, and wear thick winter clothing despite it being April.
When questioned about the Urban(a) Dances, Alabama’s dean Peter Hlebowitsh responded, “We have a long history of fighting fire with fire down here in the South. If the pretentious folk in your cheese-curd of a city took the time to appreciate rather than appropriate our culture you would understand that.”
Certainly, this north-south divide portends larger struggles. Hopefully we don’t lose sight of the fact that a barn house divided can not stand.