Covid Infected Student Refuses to Leave Isolation

University policy dictates that upon receiving a positive test for coronavirus, students must self-isolate for 7-14 days. This being the case, students who are unable to isolate at their residence are forced into isolation dorms the university has set aside. Students describe conditions as “awesome” and “the best part of my college experience.”

“I had my own room, food was delivered to me daily, and I didn’t have to take any tests,” said Charlene, just after leaving isolation. “Now that I’m back in society I’m struggling to catch up with my classwork and I can’t help but think that it was better there.”

The conditions are so “awesome” that one student, Jeff, refuses to leave, saying “I’ve found inner peace in here, while laying in bed watching anime.” Reportedly, the university is forcing Jeff out as soon as they can find security guards willing to enter the COVID dorm, but Jeff says that in this eventuality he will just do his best to contract COVID again.

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