ISG President Thanks Empty Crowd
Following his victory in the 2022 Illinois Student Government elections, the Student Body President Elect Garret Forrest, along with running mate Vindhya Kalipi, organized a rally on the quad yesterday to thank their supporters.
Portions of his speech were dedicated to the outpouring of support from supporters that carried him to victory, as well as a bold reaffirmation of his campaign promises. He then mingled with the crowd, and personally shook every hand, a task made much easier by the fact that there were zero other people in attendance.
“I’m so grateful to you all,” the president-elect said to nobody. “It’s all thanks to your support that I’m here!”, said the man standing on the quad, shouting to an empty crowd.
While giving his speech, a handful of students walked by. We questioned one of them, Annie, to see her thoughts on the direction Garret Forrest is taking our student body. She answered our question with two questions: “Who is Garret Forrest? And since when did we have a student government?”
Our correspondent leaves us with a few more questions themselves. If a politician makes a promise, and no one cares to hear it, did the promise ever mean anything? And where the hell did Forrest get all those fireworks and parade floats from?